I Don't Know How To Be Happy In This World Without You
by Illiandus
Summary: After a few months they get together. Aoba died, Leaving Koujaku in broken state and that's when Noiz appears in his life, messing around. They never expected things will go so complicated.. (rapefic/charadeath) koujaku/noiz, past koujaku/aoba
1. Chapter 1

Note: This is Post Koujaku's route. The story takes place a few months after Koujaku and Aoba settle down... And this fic is about character dead and rapes._.

So don't read it if you can't.

Pairs: KoujakuXNoiz, Past KoujakuXAoba.

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**I don't know how to be happy in this world without you.**

Part I

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Aoba's words brings smiles to him.

Aoba's smile brings joy and laughes in Koujaku's life.

Aoba's laughes brings peace.

Aoba is Koujaku's everything.

Aoba is Koujaku's world.

But one day, Aoba stop smiling.

He stopped laughing with Koujaku.

Aoba..

He slept in his arm.

His eyes were closed. His face looked like he is in peace. Like nothing in this world mattered to him.

Koujaku looked at his beloved. His storked Aoba's cheek.

Aoba..

You're cold...

The raindrops kept falling down. Hitting Koujaku's skin.

"Aoba.." Koujaku called beetween his shivers.

"Aoba.. Wake up..."

His face. Aoba's. Smeared with color of rose. Bright red. He slept in Koujaku's arms. In the middle of puddle of red on the gray ground.

Koujaku stared at the, now, no longer breathing man.

"Ao...ba..."

A drip, and then more. Tears streamed out from Koujaku's eyes. "Aoba... Aobaa...Ao...ba..."

No matter how many times he called.

No matter how much Koujaku shaked him.

Aoba never opened his eyes.

Aoba.. Don't leave me alone.

This is wrong.. Everything is wrong.

I can't live without you..

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It had been a year since Koujaku and Aoba left the oval tower, ten months since started their relationship, and six months since that incident that took Aoba's live.

That day, Benishigure is having a fight with some teams that team up to take over Benishigure's territory. The fights were fierce. Many of Benishigure members injured.

Aoba was just stucked in the situation.

He wasn't even in the fight.

Until he saw someone with gun, aimed for Koujaku.

When the bullet was shot. Aoba quickly ran and covered for Koujaku.

He was weak. He couldn't do anything, but watch to Aoba's body fall to the ground.

That's why Aoba died.

He couldn't protect Aoba.

That sensation of having Aoba's cold body in his arms... Aoba's last words. There's no way Koujaku can forget it. Not even for a second.

Every day, every minute. He thought of Aoba.

"I love you... Koujaku. Promise me.. That you'll keep.. living.. and.. be happy" Aoba said as he caressed Koujaku's cheek.

And Aoba's last words and touch.

"Aoba. How can I be happy in a world without you?" Koujaku asked softly. As if Aoba would had heard him. "I don't know how.. All this time, I haven't known what to do"

Koujaku's coil rang. He answered the call which is from his customer.

"Koujaku-san.. When are you going to open your shop?"

"Ahh.. I'm going now. Please wait a minute"

He tried to be happy as he could. Because that is Aoba's wish. If that's what Aoba wanted, then he would be as happy as he could.

"Thank you Koujaku-san. I will be waiting around"

"Thank you"

And that ended the call.

He left his bed and start dressing himself, tidying his hair and make his preperation.

He left the house at ten a.m, with Beni on his shoulder.

And as always he would smile warmly to his customers. He would laugh together with his teammates. Drink at Mizuki's bar. Cracking jokes.

Like nothing is wrong.

"Koujaku-san! Koujaku-san!"

"What?" he looked up to his teammates.

"Happy birthday!"

He had forgotten that. If Aoba's here, he would had recieved lots of kisses. But no.

"Oh! Thank you. How could I forgot about that?"

"What do you want?" Mizuki asked with a grin plastered oh his face. "If it's nothing expensive, then I can get it for you hahaha"

"Nah. Then you can treat me a few bottles of sake" Koujaku responded with light laughters too. "That's not very expensive right?" The only thing he wanted is no longer possible to be attained. Aoba will never come back.

"Of course"

That night, he got himself drunk. But still capable of walking himself home in silent.

Oh well, maybe not very good.

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It supposed to be a silent walk to home. But the mood turned out more sour that he had expected as he met a certain shitty blonde brat.

"What are you looking at, Brat?" Koujaku was pissed. The brat just stared at him for a minute or two in silent.

"You're drunk"

"No. I'm not. Go away!"

"You're too drunk that you can't recognize your way home, old man?"

"What?!"

Noiz's expression was black an unreadable. "Should I escort you home, Old man?"

Koujaku got pissed. This brat kept calling him old and old. What?! He's only twenty eight. "Damn brat, What do you want?!"

"Nothing"

"Cih. You keep messing with me. Leave me alone, you shitty brat"

Noiz stared at him for a mere few seconds, and he smirked. "Old man, do you know where is this?"

"What do you mean?!"

"Don't you think you turn the wrong way?"

Koujaku looked around. Sure this isn't the road to his home. So he got the way wrong? Maybe it's because he's drunk.

He was about to turn back, but that's when he passed out. Maybe it was a bit too much of alcohol.

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When koujaku woke up, all he saw was unknown cieling.

He sat up to see around, finding himself in a couch, only wearing his pants. The room is a small cramped room. And dirty. Clothes are at the carpet floor. There are even pizza boxes around.

And the next he saw the shitty brat.

Noiz walked out from the shower with only a piece of towel oh his waist.

"Where is this?" Koujaku asked as he rubs his fore head.

"My place"

"Why am I here?" Koujaku snorted.

"You don't remember?"

Koujaku stared at the brat in slient for a few seconds. Hestitating if he should answer or not. "No" he answered though.

"I don't know why Aoba likes old man like you"

Noiz's voice wasn't loud. in fact, it was more like whispers. But it makes Koujaku mad.

Koujaku bit his lower lip, and grabbed Noiz's shoulder. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?! DON'T EVER YOU SPEAK OF AOBA'S NAME!" Koujaku's voice was filled with anger.

Noiz respond with a smirk.

Immidately, Koujaku send a punch to the brat's face and then thrown him to the couch. "Fuck you!"

"Then do it"

"Huh?"

"Or maybe you're too old that you don't have the stamina to fuck? That's why you only fuck with Aoba?"

Another sentence that added anger into him. There's no more room for him to be calm. He grabbed the brat's head and shoved him to the couch.

"Don't regret this, brat"

"Make me feel the pain, old man" he said with light chuckles.

Koujaku grabbed Noiz's leg and speard it wide apart and sank his dick to the brat. Koujaku thought it would be tight, but no. Noiz was loose, his entrance was too swollen. But Koujaku didn't care. He started moving with no consideration for the brat.

Koujaku pulled Noiz for a fierce rough kiss. And the kid responded by biting Koujaku's toungue. "You never did this to Aoba huh?"

Koujaku clicked his tongue, and clench his teeth. Giving the brat a punch on face. "Don't ever you talk about Aoba!"

"Why? Aoba's already dead" Noiz smirked at the pissed man.

Koujaku didn't reply, but he fucked the boy more harsh then before. His left hand strangled the boy's neck. Making him hard to breath.

But even so, Noiz felt no pain.

Not long after that, Koujaku cummed inside Noiz. And the brat soon cummed too.

Making no comment. Koujaku left after done with his kimono and stuff.

Leaving Noiz alone..

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P.S:

Never wrote lemons before .-.

oh well, please leave me a review because I never write this kind of... heavy story -_-a

oh, I'm at sundayshu . tumblr . com and sundayshu. deviantart . com

Visit me :Db

Rabbits will die if they got too lonely ._.

Right?


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to tumblr (I am trying to custom my theme) Now I am a html maniac :vb

Warnings: Bad grammars (self beta), Still rape.

Disclaimer: Not Mine. Koujaku will end up Noiz if I am DMMD creators ._.v

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CH4p7h3R Ii

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(head)

(title)Null(/title)

(/head)

(body)

(body bgcolor="black" text="green" link="black")

(numb)

Noiz felt numbness his whole body. Other than that, there's nothing.

Nothing. That's what he is.

He layed between the alley way.

He couldn't move.

He couldn't fix his clothes. Let alone standing.

After being suck into a fight, lost, and taken a few guys into his mouth and ass. He couldn't move. He sure couldn't feel the pain. But maybe being done that way was still too much for his body to cope with.

He knew his body was bleeding. He could feel the wet sensation around him, even if it's almost not feelable.

(br)

(br)

(br)

(tired)

He was tired.

(br)

(hr align="left" width="10%" color="green")

(p align="right")

(sleep)

Is it okay for me to sleep now?

Noiz let out his breath.

** (h2) It is okay to sleep, right?(/h2)**

When someone find him, he would already be dead.

Or maybe unconcious if he's unlucky along.

But he just didn't wanted to care anymore.

He wanted to sleep.

He wanted that he would never wake up anymore.

(/p)

(laugh)

Even if he died, no one will be bothered. No one will be sad. In return, he will never be bothered with anybody. That's why Noiz decided to be alone. The best way of living.

Noiz could see his cubes jumping around. Thankfully he had made them in silent mode. They won't make any noises so that he could sleep.

But then, with his head facing up, there's always the light and a few bird's annoying sounds that would disturb his slumber.

He hated it.

He wasn't suited for the world with light. He thought so.

(/laugh)

Noiz closed his eyes.

(/tired)

(/numb)

(voice)

but he could hear some faint voices. As if someone called for him.

Maybe.

Noiz wasn't sure himself.

He didn't want to open his eyes anymore.

And his hearings didn't work properly anymore.

(/voice)

(/sleep)

(/body)

(br)

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Sounds of bird's chirpings and cold morning breeze slowly entered Koujaku's room. It was a very calming morning.

Koujaku would always left the window opened for mornings like this. Well, He never actually closed it unless it's raining last night.

Koujaku sat at his bed, leaning his back to the bed head, as the smoke from his tobbaco filled his room.

With the tobbaco in his mouth. Koujaku stared at the place that Aoba used to be sleeping. When he touched the sheet, it was cold.

He picked the astray next to him, and put off his tobacco.

Koujaku closed his eyes, and a small smile crept to his face as he let go a small breath.

"Good morning, Aoba"

_You know, Aoba. Waking up __without__ you by my side is lonely. I thought I had become used to it. But I don't think I can.__ I never can__. _

_Everytime I open my eyes, I wish you are __still__ here. Beside me. Curled up inside the covers, and then I will do many things to wake you up._

_Sure it was troublesome._

_But I __**was happy **__that way._

He picked up Beni and turned it on. After a few seconds, the allmate opened it's eye and looked up to it's owner. "Good Morning, boss"

"Good morning" He replied the greetings and left his room, walking towards the kitchen.

He opened the fridge. It was almost empty.

There were only a few bottles of water and some canned meat.

There's no need to stock food after all.

Koujaku would eat out for breakfast and lunch, and then bought some food on his way home.

After all, Aoba's not here anymore.

He took the water bottle at the side of the fridge door, and quickly gulped the water.

Beni flew into the kitchen and landed on Koujaku's shoulder. "Boss, Do you have plan for today?"

Koujaku sighed lightly. "Today's sunday..huh? Maybe hanging at Mizuki's bar for all day long? I don't feel like I want to stay home.."

"Cheer up, Boss" Said the little bird, knewing the reason of Koujaku's constant wish for leaving home. "I'm with you"

Koujaku smiled to his small companion.

"Thank you.. I really appreciate that" he murmered as he patted the bird's small head.

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Koujaku arrived at Mizuki's bar. But the shop was closed and the owner was nowhere to be seen. That's strange.

Usually, Mizuki won't close his bar unless something urgent happened.

Mizuki loved his bar and his team more than anything else.

And then a few of Dry juice's members came out from the shop. One of them glances towards Koujaku, and gave a friendly smile. "Oh, Koujaku-san. Sorry, But Mizuki-san told us that he won't be here today" he said.

"Why is that?" Koujaku asked.

"Dunno. Looks like Mizuki-san found a Ryhmer near his home and bring that bastard to hospital. Mizuki-san is too kind. Don't you think so?" the member laughed and the others followed.

"That's what makes Mizuki-san amazing!" One of them exclaimed.

Koujaku chuckled. "Well. Mizuki's really kind. But I thought he hate Ryhme..."

"Yeah, he hates Ryhmer. But Mizuki-san said he couldn't let that guy die"

"Who is this Ryhmer?"

Koujaku didn't know why he asked that question. But he at least he wanted to at least, make sure that wasn't Noiz.

...

_Why did that brat popped out?_

...

_Maybe I should apologize to him. For what I did last night._

_What I did was cruel._

_I wasn't supposed to be affected with his taunts._

_..._

"Dunno that guy's name. But he's that leader of the Ryhme group"

Koujaku gulped. It could be that brat.

"What's the name again..?"

"Dunno"

"What rabbit..? Dunno, I only know the name contains a rabbit"

"Or maybe two"

The dry juice members laughed at the joke.

Koujaku started feel uncomfortable. He gripped his kimono's sleeve. In his mind, he was thinking hard, whether he should go or not. He wanted to, out of guilty. Properly apologize for his bad action. But on other hand, his pride won't let him. That brat kind deserve that.

He bit his lower lip.

One of the men looked to Koujaku. "Koujaku-san, what's wrong?"

Koujaku stared at them for a few seconds, and then forced a smiled. "Nothing.." said Koujaku as he dialed Mizuki's number.

"Yo, Koujaku"

"Mizuki. Are you in hospital?"

"Yeah why?"

"What room are you in?"

"it's 512..? What? Don't tell me you coming here?"

"I think... I am going to pay you a visit now"

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"Mizuki, what happened to this brat?"

Koujaku asked as soon as he arrived to the room. Mizuki stood up from his seat. "Koujaku, you really show up" he said in disbelieve.

"I already said I will come"

"I found this kid at the valley next to my house when I was out throwing garbage" Mizuki started to explain things. "I hate Ryhmer. But I don't think leaving this guy die after I found him is okay so I brought him here"

Koujaku sighed.

"He broke two ribs, other than that he is okay.. yeah, other than that" Mizuki forced a laugh.

"... okay"

"Then I'll take my leave now" Mizuki said as he put his hands into his pocket and started walking away. "Bye for now Koujaku"

"Ahh... okay.."

After a few seconds,

Koujaku walked to Noiz and looked at the brat's face. Noiz's expression was calm, with his mouth opened a bit. Koujaku never thought that the brat could make this kind of expression. Since all he know Noiz was a rude, and shitty troublemaker brat.

Koujaku silently stared at Noiz. He slowly opened his mouth.

"I ... am sorry...For what I did.. Please forgive me.. What I did to you was horrible.."

Those words seemed hard to be said. But he did though. Maybe because he know the brat won't listen. Or he thought he know.

"Don't expect to hear that from you"

"..."

"What are you doing here?" Noiz asked with his usual, expresless face.

"You are awake the entire time?" Koujaku asked while eyeing the boy.

"Yeah"

"..."

"Why did you apologize? There's no need for it"

Koujaku rubbed his forhead lightly. "Aoba will be angry if I don't"

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_**So in the end, it's still for Aoba.**_

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Oh, btw I am at  
sundayshu . deviantart . com  
and  
sundayshu . tumblr . com

Please come and visit me.. especially my tumblr.. I still don't have any followers. :O


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